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Monday, 14 August 2017

Porn?


Contains (mildly) sexually explicit content. The content below is not intended to be pornographic, sexually suggestive or arousing. Is for informative purposes only.

Some people have a major problem with porn. I’m not sure why. It’s just two/five people fucking. Something most people over the age of a dandelion do. Most anti-porn rhetoric comes from certain feminist groups and religious fundamentalists. I can understand the fundies; most religions hate sex, and the people who take the prophet’s wise words seriously will back them like Margaret White.


Feminism should be all about promoting female sexuality. Sex-positive feminism deals with this, as do other sex-positive groups. Sex-positivity to me is about being comfortable in your sexuality, not viewing sexual activity as ‘bad’ or feeling ‘guilty’ about it, not feeling sexually repressed and having some sort of healthy sexual release (whether it’s actual sex or masturbation), and not shaming other people for how much/little sex they engage in. It’s about staying safe, using protection and birth control where necessary, listening to your partner, using condoms if you’re promiscuous, not forcing or pressuring other people into sex if they seem unsure or unwilling, and having sex for the ‘right’ reasons. These reasons being for pleasure and joy, not to feel you have to ‘please’ someone or because you’re feeling depressed and crave attention.

Addiction is very different from healthily engaging in something. Enjoying sex and being promiscuous or simply doing it a lot with your partner is one thing. Enjoying porn for self-release and pleasure is one thing. Using it as a form of escapism, like a drug, to change the way you feel is NOT healthy. It’s the same way I as an alcoholic may use alcohol, or a smack-addict may use heroin.

Addiction aside, watching porn recreationally is not a bad thing. At all. In fact, I think it’s a very good thing. Porn taught me how to give head. I learned more from porn about sex then I did in sex ed.

Yikes, Annie...
Contrarily, this is also why porn can be dangerous. There are certain types of porn that showcase violent sexual fantasies. If you’re a sane, mature person and are into that sort of thing then no problem. But if you’re young and inexperienced, this may lead to distorted perceptions about sex. There are MANY types of porn. All types of sexual fetishes and sites. Not all porn is fantastical; some is very realist. Others are highly exaggerated. The concern some people having regarding porn is that young males may watch aggressive pornography where the girl is lying there like a toy. A mature person knows this is all a fantasy, that in real life it would (hopefully) be consensual, that some girls like being sub. But an inexperienced young lad won’t necessarily get that.

This is where sex ed really needs to educate young people about porn and the certain types that they watch. I believe watching porn is as healthy and essential as masturbating, but the attitude that adults give to young people about porn generally isn’t. It’s taken me twenty years to get over my ‘shame’ regarding sex, and I don’t really know where it came from. I can’t blame it on religion cos I wasn’t raised in a religious family. Fuck, I didn’t know what a clitoris was till I was sixteen and didn’t start rubbing one out till I was seventeen, and would feel guilty afterwards like I’d done something shameful.

If people adopted a more sex-positive attitude to sex, masturbation and porn, it would help greatly in teaching young people about their bodies and sexuality. It would help to understand that no, porn is not bad, but certain types of porn can have an impact on how you view sex. Women don’t look as perfect as porn-stars and aren’t always as clean-shaven. Men don’t all have 10 inch dicks and six packs. Fantasy is great, but there’s a fine line between it and reality.

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