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Monday, 31 July 2017

Trump's Trans Ban

Like everyone else, I was shocked by this. Why the fuck would you ban transgender people from joining the military? That's like banning women, mexicans, bisexual people - the fuck? However, a little research explains why. Basically, the military has to fund expensive gender reassignment surgeries for soldiers currently undergoing transition. I don't believe it is the place of the military to fund any kind of expensive surgery; the US healthcare system should take care of that. (Luckily for us Brits, we have the NHS).

Additionally, trans people have higher levels of anxiety and suicide rates than non-trans people. I don't think a person who is physically or emotionally crippled in any way should join the military. I know I certainly wouldn't because I'm in recovery for alcoholism and I have depression and suffer from panic attacks. Not being in a position to give the best possible service means it makes sense to not join.

BUT - I think if a person has already transitioned and is on hormones, and are physically and emotionally healthy, then there is nothing wrong with them joining the military. That goes for anyone. I'm not pro-war and think the government uses too much of taxpayers money funding the fucking military and nuclear weapons, but that's another topic. If a trans person is already serving in the military and is not in an emotionally unstable state, then discharging them because they are trans is appalling.

Saturday, 29 July 2017

Least favourite Soprano's characters

The Sopranos is an incredible show with incredible actors that play their characters extremely well. However, just because the characters are realistic and relatable doesn’t make them likeable. I remember despising nearly everyone in EastEnders, yet I used to love that show. In The Sopranos there’s no one I really consistently like besides Dr Melfi, Tony’s therapist. Everyone else gets on my nerves or makes me want to punch them in the face at some point. Here are the worst in order in my opinion.

Friday, 28 July 2017

Body Image Shit

Most people are unhappy with the way their bodies look. It is not uncommon. Growing up, 95% of girls I would talk to complained about being fat (and most of them weren’t). They would look at me and go ‘Zarina, you’re sooo skinny! I’m so fat!’ It made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Meanwhile, guys want to be ripped. Guys moan that they don’t have ripped abs and broad shoulders and their arms are too thin. I’ve listened to my brother complain for years about his body, whilst I’ve just stood there and thought come on. My brother is 18 years old; physically fit and good-looking, and yeah he’s thin but in a healthy way. I think there’s a lot of pressure on young men nowadays to be ‘hench’ or ‘ripped’, in the same way there’s pressure on women to look a certain way.

Thursday, 27 July 2017

First Year at ACM: Reflection

This is going to be one of those posts where I self-indulge and talk about myself. For some spectacular reason, my controversial posts are the ones that generate the most views. This probably won’t get looked at as much as something on feminism or black lives matter or gay people would (cursed identity politics). It’s not going to be heart-wrenchingly emotional like the post where I talk about a traumatic sexual experience.. But what the hell; every now and then we’ve got to reflect.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Short story: The Stalker

Short, tense story I wrote in 2015 about a man being stalked by his ex-wife.

Sam was seated on the sofa, sipping a cup of herbal tea freshly brewed. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to tingle with nerves. Standing up, he made his way across to the TV, turning it off at the main. Turned around. He wondered why the kettle had stopped. He was sure he had left it on. There was no sound. Frowning, he crept into the kitchen. No sound. Touched the kettle. It was still warm and stiff with water, just as he had left it. Came back into the living room. TV was still off, the dent of his backside imprinted onto the sofa. He shook his head, thinking he was going mad. Walked over to the stairs, peering at the brown canvas of the staircase, twisted around each other like a boa constrictor.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Dear social drinkers

Dear social drinkers,
How fucking dare you don’t recognize how privileged you are to not be an alcoholic. You will never understand what it feels like to walk past a bar with your mouth drooling. Everyday adverts for wine and beer swamp bus shelters and billboards. M&S shoves in our face its exquisite brand of champagne and prosecco. AND I CAN’T DRINK IT. I can’t dunk it down my throat even though I want to. You know why? Because of my fucking brain chemistry. Because if I do, I’ll be screwed.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Why is God 'good'?

Monotheism explains order, but is mystified by evil. Dualism explains evil, but is puzzled by order. There is one logical way of solving the riddle: to argue that there is a single omnipotent God who created the universe – and He’s evil. But nobody in history has had the stomach for such a belief.
- Dr Yuval Noah Harari; Sapiens: a brief history of humankind

Monday, 17 July 2017

Twilight Sucks

Once upon I time I loved Twilight. Aged 12-15 I thought it was a beautiful love story. Edward was sooo perfect, and I was Team Jacob all the way cos of Taylor Lautner's sexy abs.

A few years later, aged 18, I re-read Twilight, New Moon and the beginning of Eclipse and realised what utter crap it is. Badly written; it uses clich├ęs and tired phrases that you would use in year 9 English. But my problem with Twilight is more in the content, not the form.

Sunday, 16 July 2017

The Latecomers (Opening)

This is the opening to a story I wrote the other day called 'The Latecomers', about four young men in their twenties in a funk/rock band in London.

“That was great, thank you,” Trevor Clapton said to the man covered in sweat. James, his name was. He wasn’t the best drummer they had auditioned, but he wasn’t the worst. Next to him, Joe Hendricks and Luke McCartney were taking notes. James came from an indie/rock background. Trevor wanted someone with more of a groove. Not that James wasn’t good; he just wasn’t for them. He would see what his bandmates said afterwards.

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Music Makes the World Go Around

I’m a musician, and it is truly one of the most rewarding things to be or do. Playing music and seeing people’s faces light up, feeling your body swing to the beat and singing the hooks and melodies over and over again in your head.

Friday, 7 July 2017

Explaining Hiperhidrosis

When I was in primary school we used to play this game called heads down thumbs up, where everyone would sit at the table with their heads down and their thumbs up and four students would be selected to go around and touch people’s thumbs, and then you had to guess who touched your thumbs. Whenever I was the thumb-toucher people always knew it was me because of my sweaty hands. Also it used to stop me getting picked because no one wants to touch sweaty thumbs. I started brushing people’s thumbs with my knuckles instead to hide the fact that it was me.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017


I believe that the only reason people believe in some sort of afterlife is that they are afraid of death. The 'end of living' can seem daunting to some. Hence humans have invented different theories for what happens after life in order to preserve the idea of living on. It’s a comfort; rather than accepting that the ones you love are gone forever, you invent a make-believe place where they have gone.