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Saturday, 1 July 2017

Methods of hair removal

I don’t want to be mean to my gender, but we can be pretty stupid. If it wasn’t for women the economy would crumble, what with the amount of money we spend on stuff we don't need. Hair products; make-up, sweet smelling soap, wax, razor blades, eyebrow pencils...
Hair removal is a generational thing. My mother’s generation were not nearly as obsessed with getting rid of bodily hair as my generation is. If you were born in the 90s or post Millennial, it’s the norm to get rid of your pubic hair soon after it arrives.

The pre-occupation with getting rid of body hair has become a pandemic, affecting girls everywhere. We’re bombarded with adverts throwing Venus and Veet and Nair in our faces; telling us we need to groom this and shave that. Girls as young as thirteen get rid of the hair all over their bodies. I’m not quite sure where this fashion began, but seeing as most of the women running waxing clinics are Asian, I’m guessing it started in India somewhere. In hotter countries it makes sense to take off your bodily hair, and Asian women and men grow lots of body hair (believe me; I’m related to them) so shaving/waxing is clearly a necessity.

But why do we do it nowadays? I’m guessing it’s just one of those arbitrary fashions. Maybe a few centuries from now it’ll be fashionable to have lots of hair on your body and we’ll all go back to looking like monkeys. Even (gay/metrosexual) men nowadays wax their chests and do their
eyebrows. Maybe we get rid of our hair because we think men will like us more. Most guys of my generation expect girls to shave, thanks to porn. Back in the 80s a bush was normal. But mostly we do it because of what other girls will think. No one wants to be that girl at the sleepover with hairy legs, any more than she wants to be the last one in her group to start her period or kiss a boy. Women judge each other. Women are the ones who say my eyebrows look good, not men. Women are the ones who decided we would take off x amount of hair. I dunno how it suddenly became a trend, but now it is.

As someone who’s used all the main methods of removing body hair, I’m going to comment on all of them and list pros and cons.

 Pros: it’s quick, easy, doesn’t hurt, and fairly cheap.
Cons: it doesn’t remove hair from the root; it cuts the hair, so has to be done regularly. Is also common to cut the skin whilst shaving, causing bleeding.

Pros: removes hair from the root, so lasts longer and only needs to be done once or twice a month depending on how fast your hair grows or how often you wear shorts. Skin feels like silk after, mm.
Cons: painful – I repeat, FUCKING PAINFUL. FUCKING PAINFUL PAINFUL. (Advice: don’t try to wax your own vagina. Or legs. Or anywhere. It hurts babe, it hurts).

Hair removal cream.
Pros: you won’t cut your skin whilst doing it; lasts longer than shaving, cheap, leaves a smooth finish.
Cons: if you’re impatient it takes longer than shaving and it’s messier. You have to spread the cream everywhere and then wait 5 to 10 minutes and sometimes it’ll miss a spot and it can be irritating.

Pros: removes hair by the root so lasts longer. You hold the epilator against your skin, move it upwards like your shaving, and it pulls the hair out with mini tweezers.
Cons: OW it hurts. Yikes. And it’s expensive, and you have to clean the inside of it all the time.

For me, the best method is shaving, because it’s quick and doesn’t hurt and can be done often in the shower. Razor blades don’t cost a lot and can be disposed of after a few uses. Technically waxing is the best because it lasts the longest, but to get a professional wax it costs a lot, and doing it yourself is too painful if you’re a baby like me. Waxing is best for legs, genitals and bikini area, and shaving is better for armpits. I used to use hair removal cream on my arms (I dunno why; I barely have any hair on my arms) and I’d say that’s pretty good if you do have hairy arms. I also shave my lower back, and my hairy arse. (Ok, it's not that hairy. Well my ex compared it to ‘chewbacca’s face’ when we were having an argument months after breaking argument which I started, respectably.)

Remember: removing body hair is a choice, and you don’t have to do it. Frida Kahlo rocked her unibrow. Only take off the amount of hair you’re comfortable with. Always remove hair for yourself, not because your boyfriend makes you or your friends will take the piss out of you for not doing it. (Though if you have a good patient man, there's no harm in pleasing him :) ). Looking good and keeping well groomed does make you feel better about yourself anyway, and there is no harm in it. Which method do you find to be the most effective?

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