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Monday, 25 September 2017

Am I an anti-feminist?

No. I don’t like to think of myself as an ‘anti-feminist’ any more than I think of myself as ‘pro-gay.’ I support LGBT rights, but not in an overt, change-fb-dp wave-rainbow-flag way. If I had a gay/bisexual child I wouldn’t care. It’s not a big deal to me. 

Everywhere I go, be it online or offline, everyone has some sort of opinion about feminism. Even if it’s as simple as ‘I hate feminism’ or ‘isn’t it just about gender equality’? It’s the one thing everyone has something to say about. Some good, some bad, some middle of the road.

I am not ‘anti’ feminism. If you’re a feminist who genuinely believes in equality and women’s rights and doesn’t treat men like shit, I have no beef with you. I have no beef with feminists that actually do something to help women, as opposed to complain about the word ‘bossy’ or tell women that painting with their period blood is ‘empowering.’ Feminists who say ‘we should become lesbians because men are EVIL!’ are just lame and immature to me. There’s nothing funny about a poor man getting his dick cut off.

I have my reasons for not identifying as a feminist outlined in one of my posts. My main reason is that I think we’ve achieved gender equality in the West, and I don’t think it’s healthy to tell women that we’re ‘oppressed victims’ who deserve special treatment. I think the feminist movement started off as being about voting rights, property rights and economic equality in the workplace; standard things that men already had. Women also wanted to do more with their lives than be housewives. There were Western women prior to the suffragettes that DID have careers and did stuff other than ‘be housewives.’ (Not that choosing to be a housewife is a bad thing, but not all women find that alone fulfilling). These women were probably middle class, or came from educated families where getting a career was easier.

But ignoring women’s ‘past’ position; how are women doing now? We have voting rights, economic equality (the wage gap is no longer a thing), and basic social freedom. No woman in the Western world is going to be denied a job or an education because she is a woman. (Other factors, such as being more likely to undergo maternity leave and have children, can make it less likely to be hired. Unfortunately this is just a biological fact; it doesn’t mean you being a woman means you’ll be bad at the job, but if you plan on having children then contributing to the workplace is going to make things harder. This is why EVERYONE should read ‘I don’t know how she does it’ by Allison Pearson to really get into the difficulty of being a high-powered working mother).

There are some things I agree with feminists on. I am pro-choice, I am anti-slut shaming, I agree that women should be able to sleep with whoever they want and not be ‘shamed’ for it. I agree that cat-calling on the street can be rude and annoying, but it’s certainly not oppression. I agree that rape is horrible, but I don’t think the feminist notion of ‘teaching boys not to rape’ is going to help anyone because the kind of people that do rape are not wired to view certain things rationally. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend your life dreaming that some man will come and save you, because everyone needs to save themselves.

I wish feminism would go to places where women face actual oppression. It makes no sense to me how someone can be a feminist yet defend Islam or any religion in general. The Abrahamic religions are notably anti-women; Christianity blames human’s problems on Eve, and Islam allows a man to beat his wife and for any woman to inherit half of what a man inherits and about a thousand other things I could go into but won’t. It’s interesting how the ‘best’ woman in the Bible is not only a virginal woman, but she gave birth to a man who would be the ‘chosen one.’ It says a lot about viewing women as these ‘virtuous’ beings who are only here to raise the next line of sons. Booooring.

I love men. I love being friends with them, I love hanging out with them, I love my male relatives, I love my dad and my brother, and I deffo enjoy having sex with men. Feminism has taken away some of that balance between men and women. Rather than seeing us as complimenting one another, some feminists are trying to make women and men turn against each other. Women are never going to be men, and trying to become a man is a waste of a woman. No one can do ‘everything’, and sometimes it’s nice to have someone tall and strong and handsome to open a jar for you or kill a spider for you or walk you down the road when it’s dark.

The first person in life that you have to please and take care of is yourself. Women are not here to ‘please’ men, but at the same time we all have to take care of each other. My life goal is not to just exist to be some man’s little wife and play with his kiddies. I’m not against doing that, but I’d also like to have my own identity and my own career. In that sense I guess I’m somewhere between feminists and anti-feminists. Some anti-feminists do mainly disagree with the negative premises of feminism. Some say feminism has ruined everything and women should go back to only being housewives and doing as they’re told (booooo!)

Extremity is never a good idea, and as an addict I know all about being extreme and over the top. It’s best to stay right sized, whether you’re a feminist or anti-feminist. Hating men is not good, but being against women’s general rights is not good either. 


  1. i consider myself "someone against dangerous ideologies" i dislike a lot of modern feminism and i think telling women and blacks their just poor opprerssed little victims who should be allowed to behave however they want with no repurcussions and men and white people are the cause of their problems not only doesn't help them but is dangerous (hell there are people being killed because of this narrative)

    1. Exactly, all ideologies taken to the extreme just cause destruction and 'Project Mayhem' hehe.


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