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Saturday, 23 September 2017

Rating the characters on The Big Bang Theory

I love The Big Bang Theory. It’s one of my favourite shows. But seriously, every character on that show needs some serious therapy. They’re all kind of fucked up (which is what makes them funny and relatable on some level – I can certainly relate to Raj whining about how he’ll be forever alone), and can also piss you off. On a scale of 1 to 10 I’m gonna rate them in terms of how big of a twat they are, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest.


Sheldon. 9, of course. Sheldon’s the cuntiest cunt of cuntville. Ok no, that’s Roger Smith. But seriously, if Sheldon was your friend in real life...well in real life he’d be in a mental institution and have no friends. There are a few times where his child like tendencies like being obsessed with trains or not liking fighting make him seem cute and peppy rather than a narcissistic evil genius, but mostly he’s just...well, a narcissistic evil genius. (Gotta love him though. He's an arsehole but also a legend.)

Leonard. 3. Leonard’s lovely, and the only one of the guys who isn’t messed up. However, he is a bit too lovely, to the point where it becomes needy and you’re like ‘come on, you could have gotten with Penny in season 1 not the start of season 3.’ I do sympathise with him for having a real bitch for his mother (who I’d score 11 on the twat scale). But I have no real beef with Leonard, he’s sweet, he just needs to assert-up at times.

Raj. 4. I think Raj is sweet, though at times big headed like when he wouldn’t shut up about the People magazine thing, but then Howard wouldn’t shut up when he went to the moon and Sheldon doesn’t shut up ever. Raj kind of seems like your gay best friend who isn’t gay, just very effeminate. And we all know the dude needs serious help for his selective mutism which miraculously disappears at the end of season 6.

Howard. 5; only because he’s hilarious and becomes less of a twat when he gets married to Bernadette. Also I feel sorry for him as Sheldon always takes the piss out of him not having a PHd. Also what the fuck is wrong with these guys? Howard went to MIT, which is actually better than CalTech, the uni they all work at and Sheldon’s alma mater. Leonard went to Princeton, one of the top fricken universities in the USA and the world. Good God, it’s like people from Oxford and Cambridge ganging up on the poor 'dumbarse' who went to Bristol. And then the Oxonions saying the Cambridgians are stupid.

Penny. 2. Ah, I love Penny. She’s sweet, kind, funny and dumb as a doornail. You have to hand it to her, it’s got to be weird knowing you’re the stupid one amongst your friends. If your boyfriend is considered stupid for going to Princeton then by god you really are a dumbarse. But yeah, Penny has a heart of gold. Plus she’s the most normal out of all of them, apart from her terrible choice in boyfriends (besides Leonard) and the fact that she likes to drink a lot (though I wouldn’t say she has a problem, she just enjoys her drink now and again. Not like she has it in the morning, or by herself, or whatever. She’s fine...)

Bernadette. 7. It's a shame, because she started off sweet and kind, but as the seasons progressed she's become a bitch. She yells and snaps constantly at everyone like she’s got some kind of split personality disorder. The scavenger hunt episode really showed her shitty side. I think she’s prettier than Penny personally, she has a gorgeous face and she’s actually smart. But Penny’s not crazy.
Edit: actually she isn't that bad, her snappy bossiness can be kind of funny. Also it sucks how Howard's always making her do most of the housework. 

Amy. 4. Amy’s alright. She can be a laugh. She doesn’t really act horrible or bitchy and she’s less of a robot than Sheldon (well, for one she actually has a sex drive). I think Amy’s a sort of fun character, she has her weird quirks. Plus she never fails to remind us of how sad and lonely her teen years were.

Leslie Winkle. 10. Man I can’t STAND that bitch. She’s worse than Sheldon! Yeah, Sheldon’s an arsehole but most of the time he doesn’t realise it. Leslie’s just plain mean for the sake of it. Her character is very bland and uninteresting, and she uses men like they’re sex toys with no feelings. And why the fuck does she call Sheldon ‘dumbarse’? Seriously? Again, what is wrong with these guys?
*I’m smarter than you* *No, I am!* *No, it’s me!* And then there’s Penny, just hanging around.
Edit: after a series re-watch months after this was posted, I don't think Leslie's really that awful, but she is annoying. I'd probably rate her 7.


Stuart. 5. Haha, Stuart is sort of just there isn’t he. He’s the poor sad hanger on that sleeps in his comic book store. The sadness of his situation cracks me up (as it’s supposed to) but in real life it would be a real tragedy. Poor Stuart. May he find happiness still.

Priya. 8. Bitch. Don’t like her at all. She just comes across as very unlikeable and emotionally detached. Sure, she’s stunning and smart, but she's also mean. (I’m starting to think all the women on show besides the dumb one are nasty. What you tryna say; smart women are bitches? Yeah alright, you got me.)

Will Wheaton. 8. WHEATON!!!! Come on, how can you lie to a guy that was a huge fan of yours that your grandma died and that’s why you couldn’t come to the comic book signing? And messing with an already disintegrating couple just to win a bowling match is also pretty low. Dickhead. Haha to him, Lenny end up back together. Woo-hoo, go Lenny!


Zach. 1. He's amazing. I love Zac because he's a moron and it's so hilarious watching him. Plus he is a genuinely sweet guy. 

Oooooookaaaaayyyyy I think that’s enough haha. Thoughts? Laughs? Shits and giggles? (I really don’t get that phrase). Thumbs up if you love The Big Bang Theory! YAY!!!!

2 comments:

  1. it's been a while since i watched big bang theory and i find plenty of sitcoms to not be that good (outside of my name is earl and some others) but i do enjoy them, and i love some shows i know have awful characters (madoka magica being among them) but this was a fun post :)

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