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Friday, 13 October 2017

Good Girls, Bad Girls

This is linked to my last post - see 'Smart girls finish last.' 

When I was in primary school, the minute I started to assert myself those twats would say ‘Zarina, you used to be kind!’ What they really meant is 'you used to be a submissive doormat we could all take the piss out of. How dare you for asserting yourself!'

I’ve always found the distinction between what makes a ‘good’ girl and what makes a ‘bad’ girl to be pretty strange. I mean, I would say I’m a good girl because I (try my hardest to) treat others with kindness and empathy. It’s got nothing to do with how I dress, how many guys I sleep with, how much make-up I wear, whether or not I do drugs (although that can have a moral twist to it), or how much partying I do.

Once I was walking down the street and some random dude must have chatted me up and somehow asked if I drink and I said ‘no’ and he went ‘you’re a good girl huh.’ What a dumbarse. I didn’t bother saying I don’t drink because I’m a recovering alcoholic. I could have been on my way to an AA meeting right then.

How does not drinking make someone ‘good’ exactly? I don’t drink because if I do I’ll eventually end up dead or in prison, not because I’m this moral celestial being. Lots of people drink, and do drink safely; what, are they ‘bad’ now because they like the odd glass of wine with dinner?

If we’re going into morals here, of course people who genuinely abuse drugs or alcohol do end up in serious situations because of it. It can lead them to prison, fights, death, all kinds of shit – we know this from looking at general statistics. But even then, those types of people aren’t necessarily ‘bad’ people, they may have just gotten themselves up into bad messes.
Good, bad; they're both sexy.
Or what about sex? I’ve written about this, and it continues to irritate but more so baffle me. Why is a girl considered ‘nice’ and ‘good’ if she has less sexual partners then someone who doesn’t? She could be a total bitch. She could be a narcissistic cow who manipulates men and only gives them sex if they do stuff for her. The girl who is promiscuous could be the nicest lady you ever met. I really don’t understand why people associate sex with morality. (Unless you’re clearly doing immoral stuff, like sleeping with other people’s partners or raping dead bodies.) If I was to screw ten people in one week (not that I have the time or energy for that) I’d still be a nice girl. I’m not a nasty person, and however many people I have sex with isn’t going to turn me into a 'bad' girl.
Haha, I love this song. It's catchy as fuck.

I would say exactly the same for guys. I went out with an extremely nice guy, and a pretty messed up dickhead guy. Neither of them adhered to stereotypes. The ‘bad boy’ was boring; the ‘nice guy’ was fun and awesome. If we say that stereotypically, nice guys have fewer partners and finish last and are boring in bed and awkward – well yeah NOOO way. (Think about it; a nice guy is going to take care of you and want to please you and look after you. In every possible way.)
Gimme a gentleman over a 'bad boy' any day.
This is just my way of understanding that everything the world tells you about how people are is often bullshit. I know nice sweet people (male and female) that have had 10-20 sexual partners and been in long term relationships (and been faithful. People might engage in hook ups when they're single then stay faithful to their partner when married/in a relationship). I know awful people that have had a lot less. A person could be a fun time party goer yet volunteer at their local soup kitchen on Wednesdays. People in real life are multi-faceted and a mix of a lot of different characteristics. 


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