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Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Least favourite films ever

These are all films that I’ve seen that have either bored me to death or horrified me.

The woman in black. Watched this when I was 14, at the cinema with a friend who loved horror films yet sat through half the film covering her eyes. It’s horrifying, and what’s worse is it’s rated 12. TWELVE. It should be a fifteen for sure. I would rather cut my own throat then watch this terrifying film again. Thinking about it, I think the plot could have been re-made into quite an interesting mystery-thriller film. I saw the play prior to watching the film which was better and not as scary. It took me a long time to get over this traumatic film. There’s literally nothing endearing, humorous, enjoyable, or interesting about it. (Apart from how attractive Daniel Radcliffe looks). It’s a scary film about a guy that stays in some haunted house where some dead woman has haunted the town and argh....why. I’ve seen the new It movie and that was nowhere near as scary as this.


Matrubhoomi: A Nation Without Women. What is the most horribly depressing film you can think of? Try an Indian film set in a dystopian future where women have gone extinct from years of killing baby girls off in hope of a son. Men are now reduced to bestiality and porn. Then, a young girl is discovered, only to be married to some man’s five sons, and raped every night by each son and the father. The only character that treats her with kindness is killed off halfway through the film, only to have her blamed for his death and gang raped by the men in the town. I guess it’s a good (albeit disturbing) social critique of how badly women are treated in India. The ending is the only hopeful part, where the girl fortunately survives the town massacre where the men all kill each other and she gives birth to a baby girl.

Valentine’s Day. I don’t really have much to say about this movie, besides the fact that it’s the shittest pile of garbage I’ve ever seen. I can’t remember anything about it besides Taylor Swift’s awful acting and a clip of her and Taylor Lautner thrown in just to appeal to teenage girls. I was so excited to watch this when it came out because of all the major Hollywood actors in it. DO NOT BE FOOLED. All these big names make for a big mess. Shit film with no plot.


Citizen Kane. Yeah I know it’s a classic, and when I did AS Film Studies it was one of the hundreds of films we watched in class. But it’s sooooo boring. I think there were a few interesting parts, but on the whole I don’t remember much of this. Something about a journalist and newspapers and a sled named Rosebud. (Yes, ‘Rosebud’ is his fucking sled).


2001: A Space Odessey. I was really curious to watch this film; again it’s another classic that can bore you to tears. I’ll never get those eight hours of a camera whirling around space back. There’s no story. Kubrick really isn’t one for great stories. His films are pretty much him showing off his amazing camera techniques. Ok that’s harsh, I liked Lolita, A Clockwork Orange, the first half of Full Metal Jacket and The Shining is alright. (Oh wait, three of those are based on books – no wonder they’re good). I have no idea what that movie is about. The only memorable parts are the beginning with the monkeys and black monoliths and the ending with the fetus in space.

 Mulan 2. Ok I might start crying. I LOVE Mulan. I love Disney. Mulan is one of the best Disney films, and in my opinion one of the best films ever. The plot, the character development, the female power and moving away from the ‘romance’ ideal – it’s great. The second movie is cancer. I didn’t finish it. It’s stale and awful and cheesy and the songs are lame and they ruined everything and SOB SOB SOB. WHYYY?! Why did Disney think making this would be a good idea? Why, Disney, Why??


Bicycle Thieves. BLURGH. I know three of the films on my list are considered ‘great’ and ‘classics’ but seriously, blurgh. This is some lame Italian film about a guy that steals bicycles, I think. See you know a film sucks when you can’t even remember what happens. I got assigned this to watch as homework back in AS Film Studies and again, I’ll never get that time back.

The Dark Knight. Yes, I'm one of those people that thought this film sucked and was overrated. Even Batman Begins was better. Again, I have no idea what this movie was about. Only thing I enjoyed was Heath Leger's brilliant performance as The Joker. I was rooting for The Joker the whole time. He's the only thing that made this awful boring movie worth watching.

So yeah, fortunately this list is very short. I do plan to do a post on all my favourite movies which I started ages ago but that list is QUITE a lot longer than this one. Hope you enjoyed this anyway; slagging stuff off is as fun as raving about great stuff. What are some films you hate and wished you could unwatch?

4 comments:

  1. mu least favorite movie i've seen is "where the dead go to die" it did have some pretty disturbing imagery that unsettled me and i did find a few moments nice or actually kinda funny but aside from that it's garbage

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