Here’s the stereotype: guys only want bimbo type submissive girls who will do what they want. Intelligent women are ugly, boring, mouthy, domineering and end up alone.
When I was younger (about
thirteen/fourteen) my parents often said I would have a lot of problems with
men in the future. (And my dad has never hesitated to tell me dying my hair
won’t help me to get a man as it looks too ‘freaky’. Pity guys – and girls – love
my dyed hair). Parents rarely try to be horrible, they only ever put their
children first and offer them up advice in their interest. They probably only
meant it passingly, and didn’t think it would sag my already low self-esteem to
the ground and have me spend most of my teen years (despite having
boyfriends/flings with dudes) thinking ‘I’M GONNA DIE ALONE AND BE A CAT LADY
WAAAAA!’
Well, here’s stereotypes
vs real life. I’ve had two significant boyfriends, and neither were stupid, so
I can’t see why they’d want a stupid girlfriend. Generally, I would think
intelligent people would want to date other intelligent people, and less
intelligent people would care less about brains and more about integrity or
good character or other wholesome stuff.
There is NOTHING WRONG
with being an intelligent woman. Plenty of people in this world are smart and
don’t end up alone. Being smart DOESN’T mean guys won’t like you. I think it’s
really detrimental to tell girls that being smart is going to make guys feel
‘threatened’ or not find them attractive. If you’re a bitch who likes to walk
all over people then yeah, you probably won’t find a guy with that attitude,
and if you do he’ll be a beta male that likes women dominating him. I’ve never
been a dominating-type person, but if some people are into that then cool.
The same goes for guys. I
HATE the stereotype ‘nice guys finish last.’ Being a nice person who treats
girls well does not mean that no girl will ever want you. I personally LOVE
nice, intelligent guys. I WANT to marry (if I get married) a nice, intelligent
guy that isn’t an arsehole. Why the fuck wouldn’t I?
The reason some girls go
out with ‘arseholes’ or ‘players’ or ‘roadmen’ is because they know all the
right things to say and know how to manipulate girls. It’s easier for a guy to
tell if another guy is full of shit than it is for a girl to tell. Likewise,
some girls have very low self-esteem and don’t think they deserve a guy that
treats them right (been there done that) so go out with a guy that makes them
feel like shit to reinforce their negative self-worth.
Stereotypes help people
make sense of things, but they don’t determine exact truth. No one falls into
exactly one box. Life is not like sitcoms; real people are complex. And most
people DON’T end up alone (unless they prefer to). Someone will always want
you, just the way you are. Be yourself, don’t try to pander to other people’s
expectations, and people will come to you.
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| Couldn't agree more with this. |
I think the stereotype you mentioned at the start of this is an exaggeration from (a) the fact that men tend to be more satisfied with women who are obviously not as intelligent as them whereas women tend to be less satisfied with men who are obviously not as intelligent as them & (b) the fact that some men do get intimidated by women who are smarter than them more often than women get intimidated by men who are smarter than them. Part of this is that men tend to fall more on the higher or lower ends of IQ whereas women tend to be closer around average.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about it being easier for guys to tell about other guys which is why young women used to be in the habit of bringing guys home to meet their father so he could assess them and warn them about no "funny business" (sometimes this meant sex and sometimes it just meant treating the daughter right). With so many single parent homes, a lot of daughters have lost out on this fatherly perk.
Maybe the fact that some men get 'intimidated' by smart women is because men have always been expected to be the providers and the 'dominant' gender so if a woman is like that it's almost 'threatening' his masculinity.
DeleteYeah, that's a lot to do with it. If the man can't provide food or protection, and he can't provide a baby, what is his role? How does he feel necessary and like he's contributing?
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