Destiny vs Coincidence

Do you believe that our lives are mapped out in a sense, by a ‘God’ or just by the universe, or do you think that everything happens due to our individual choices and coincidences?

I’m a determinist, and I do believe in fate. I don’t believe in a God but I do believe that we are all connected through causal chains of events that happen. I think of our lives as a massive ‘join the dots’ where events are interwoven and we bounce off each other. I think that whenever someone comes into your life it is to teach you something about yourself, or to give you something. Often people come into our lives briefly and then fade away. I’ve had this many times with friends and boyfriends, and it can be sad and disheartening but it’s also how life is.

For example, maybe at that time you need a certain person to fulfil a certain purpose, whether it’s emotional, carnal, to bring a sense of happiness, or to show you that you need to change some things about yourself. When bad or negative people come into our lives it can seem confusing, but I think toxic people teach us that we deserve better. No one deserves a friend/partner that puts them down or makes them feel like shit. Likewise you can be really close to someone who suddenly disappears; maybe this is due to the universe pushing them away and showing you that you don’t need that person in your life, or maybe revealing things about them that you didn’t initially see.

I don’t really believe in coincidences, but I guess sometimes things happen because they happen. Sometimes there really is no reason other than ‘it was that way because it was that way.’ Why do bad things happen to good people? ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ are highly subjective. I don’t think the universe ‘cares’ about us per se, it just flows and moves us from one situation to the other. It’s amoral; things happen because that’s the way they do.

But naturally, like attracts like, as are the laws of physics. (I've always hated Physics). Positivity does breed more positivity. If you fill your life with things and people that make you feel good, your brain will feed off more of that. Likewise if you feed your brain with negativity, your brain will feed off more of that. Notice how if you start the day with a negative attitude your outlook tends to be negative that day? It works both ways.

Situations are situations, it’s how we react and interpret them. On a good day, something may not bother us; on a bad day, that same thing could cause us to blow up or burst into tears. It can be confusing, wondering if it happened for any ‘divine’ reason or if there was no reason other than the way we were feeling that day.

When two people fall in love, did that happen out of fate or hard work and a decision to be together? Maybe a combination of both, or maybe one or the other. Or maybe it doesn’t matter. Either way, having a good outlook on life will improve your chances of emotional and spiritual satisfaction, and going with the ‘flow’ of life takes away a need to hold the reins. It allows you to become more relaxed with the way things are as opposed to how you want them to be.