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Thursday, 23 November 2017

The first time I got drunk

I was sixteen the first time I got shitfaced. Proper headspinning, vomiting, blacked out, moaning and yelling, begging-for-mercy type drunk. It was awful man. To quote Stephen King (a writer and recovering alkie like me): ‘only a masochistic lunatic would make booze a regular part of his life.’ Or her life. Luckily I got out of it quickly.

I was at a friend’s birthday house gathering. There were maybe eight of us there, all girls, plus her parents. We went out first to a diner, and then some of us came back to hers for drinks. I had been drunk a few times before, but not on this level. When I saw alcohol I got excited; my eyes shone, my mouth watered, my lips tingled. All I wanted was to drink it and let it fill me up.

I think I’d eaten some chicken burger and cheesy chips. Very greasy (and delicious) food that made my stomach full. After some red stuff and blue stuff and beer I went to the toilet and puked. I felt much better afterwards. Now my stomach was empty, I could continue drinking.

I have no idea what I drank. Vodka, sours, shots; we all just drank and drank and I got drunker and drunker and more annoying/loud/hilarious/worrying depending on your perspective. I was filming some cringey video in which I was going round and chatting shit and laughing to myself. The friend who’s birthday it was said I should put it on YouTube. I did, but my parents were furious that I was so drunk so I took it down.

I remember puking all over the bathtub. All the food I’d eaten sprayed everywhere. Bits of chicken and cheese and lumps. My friend’s parents were real troopers, putting up with silly little me. I guess they’d seen it before. There are many parts I don’t remember from that night. Apparently I had to be dragged upstairs. I kept saying I was depressed and hated myself (surprise surprise). I also kept yelling about the guy I had a crush on at the time.

The next morning I puked again and then felt fine. I’m one of those lucky fuckers that doesn’t seem to get hangovers. I puke, drink water, feel a bit sleepy and groggy and then can function as normal.

I believe that was November 2013. The next few times after that weren’t as bad. I don’t think I was like that again until my alcoholism kicked off around May/June 2015. Fortunately for me I was quick to get out of it. Not because I have superpowers; I don’t have the patience to drink my life away for the next twenty years. Plus I got sick of it pretty quickly. For me that’s about as good as it gets; a feeling of awesomeness and bliss, followed by feeling miserable, sometimes shouting and nearly always vomiting a lot. I never got violent; I never took all my clothes off and ran around. I got better at controlling myself and counting my drinks, but sooner or later I’d repeat that again. 


  1. i've never been drunk before (except maybe once when i was 7 and licked rubbing alchohol off a wound cause i was curious) but this sounds like a unpleasent experience glad you're no longer on booze

    1. Thanks man; so you don't drink alcohol? Or do you just only drink a little bit and not get drunk from it?

    2. don't drink at all but i have nothing against those that do

    3. Fairs; not drinking (whether by choice or because of recovery) is so good for you healthwise plus it saves so much money. Good on you!


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