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Saturday, 16 December 2017

What does it mean to be sexually liberated?


I don’t think it means ‘having sex with every person you see.’ It simply means doing that if it makes you comfortable. I think the person that feels truly sexually liberated will have a positive attitude to their sexuality and accept that it’s different for everyone, and will only engage in sexual activities that make them feel comfortable.

For example, the person that has been raised to see same-gender sex as ‘bad’ may feel repressed or anxious about their own sexuality if they are homo/bisexual or simply want to experiment. However, I would say once they grow up and realise that same-sex relations as not a negative thing, and something they can enjoy, then they would be liberated. ‘Liberation’ means freedom, and emotional freedom comes from being able to express yourself in ways that you enjoy and make you happy.

Girls are often raised to see ‘sleeping around’ as a negative thing. I don’t view it as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’; if you don’t want to don’t, but if you do want to do. Simple. Just don’t knowingly go after other people’s partners, use protection/contraception, and never force people into things they are uncomfortable with.

A woman that wants to wait until she is married/in a long term partnership before she has sex is not necessarily ‘sexually un-liberated.’ Provided it is her decision, she is doing it because that’s what she is comfortable with and hasn’t been ‘pressured’ to think that way and doesn’t feel like she is ‘repressing’ her sex drive or that sex is some shameful thing. What we do with our bodies is our choice. I don’t view sex as special or sacred, because I’m a positive nihilist and view nothing as inherently special. Game of Thrones isn’t inherently special; it’s special to me.

I think we should enjoy each other’s bodies; we’re all animals sniffing out each other’s pheromones at the end of the day. I think we should enjoy our own bodies as much as we like, and feel free to experiment with one partner or multiple partners. The positive aspect of having sex with a long-term partner as opposed to casual flings is that you tend to feel more comfortable experimenting with someone you care for and being more open. Then there’s the cuddling afterwards and having someone next to you to shag all over again when you wake up. (hehe).

But there’s nothing bad about promiscuity. I think people who see it as a bad thing were either raised to think that way, or have bought into society’s silly double standard for men and women when it comes to sex. It often seems to be promiscuous women that get a ‘bad rep’, more so than promiscuous men. Rather than seeing it as ‘bad’ ‘good’ ‘dirty’ ‘pure’ ‘clean’ ‘unclean’, can’t we just accept other people’s choices?

I think a sexually liberated society would be one where people didn’t shame women for having a lot of sex; men for not having had sex, prostitution would be legal, rape would severely decrease, men didn’t get falsely accused of rape, teenagers were given proper sexual education and not shown pictures of vaginas with STDs to put them off, religion didn’t try to brainwash people, girls didn’t constantly get shamed by other girls for dressing a certain way, porn was viewed as healthy and positive rather than crude, homosexual sex was more accepted (particularly when it comes to gay men), and so on and so forth.
Kinsey was a sexual revolutionary.
I have a post called Violence vs Sex’ where I mention that my parents were more lax about showing my brother and I violence in films and TV rather than sex scenes. I wish I had been shown violence with less of a ‘relaxed’ attitude and sex with less of a ‘taboo’ one. It is tricky of course, as parents never know what or how much to show their kids. I’m a twenty year old young woman, not a kid anymore, and I can now decide what is right or wrong for me.

People often condemn Game of Thrones for being ‘full of sex’, but I don’t feel like there’s that much sex in it. To me, the violence is far more horrific and graphic. The level of violence in Game of Thrones is astonishing at times to the point where it has made me want to vomit. Obviously there are a lot of wars that go on so it has to showcase violence (plus it’s set in Medieval times which says a lot). But while I find most of the sex scenes to be fine and dandy (minus scenes which involve rape or coercion), the violence in that show can make me very uncomfortable. 

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