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Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Woman answers dumb questions

So this is pretty old now, I think the video came out about a year ago. TJ Kirk's response to it is one of my favourite videos on YouTube, I think he's pretty funny and spot on. I'm a woman, people like taking the piss out of the stupid elements of modern feminism, and I reckon I can come up with some pretty sharp answers to these questions. Plus I have no life and do nothing except read Game of Thrones and watch videos about it.

How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump?

This question is absurd; half of the world's population are female and the other half are male. You could easily have said 'how does it feel to be the same sex as Michael Jackson' or 'Harvey Weinstein' or 'my local shopkeeper.' The implication is that because Trump is such a 'sexist arsehole' (he isn't actually; I think he's a bit of an idiot but there's no evidence that he is a sexist) all men are also sexist arseholes. Is that what you're getting at?

Why do you hate rom coms?

I enjoyed them in my early teens, but I don't like them now because the stories are generally cliche, boring, characters are one-dimensional and I don't find them that interesting. Same reason I'm not a general fan of the horror genre (besides being a scaredy-cat, though nowadays I scare less easily). I like thrillers, comedies and dramas because I feel they have good plots and interesting characters.

Everybody likes the Notebook, everybody likes Beyonce.

Well, they don't; just because you do doesn't mean everyone else does. I do like Beyonce; saw The Notebook years ago and it probably wouldn't be my thing now. That's like me assuming everyone likes Game of Thrones. They should because it's awesome, but we all have different tastes in things.

Why do you make women sit around talk about men in movies, when y'all easily just sit around and talk about boobs for hours?

As TJ said in his video, the genre where women mostly sit around and talk about men are rom-coms. That's literally 80% of the film. These women clearly don't talk to guys or hang out with them; I'm pretty sure no guys sit around talking about boobs 'for hours.' They might for several minutes, and then move onto arse, legs, curves...

Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like TV or movies that star a female lead?

My brother's favourite Disney film is Mulan; one of the reasons he rates it is because it has a strong female lead. I have a post about my favourite leading women in film and TV; lots of shows and films have strong female characters and have attracted men and women. I don't think any guy is superficial enough to dislike a show or film for having a female lead, unless it's Twilight. (Which is utter shit).

Why are you surprised when women are funny?

Because generally I find guys to take themselves less seriously and women to be a bit more 'uptight', however there are plenty of funny women in the world, just as there are plenty of funny guys in the world. Perhaps it has something to do with women being expected to be 'ladylike' and behave in a certain manner, I don't know. Latoya Forever is a YouTuber I used to love and she fricken cracks me up.

Why do you think that we’re obsessed with you when we hook up?

I've hooked up with guys and not one of them has told me to 'please stop messaging me, why you so obsessed with me!' I don't think it's a good idea to have casual sex with guys you have feelings for and never have been in that position - the 'unspoken rule' for hooking up is to be attracted to the person but don't have feelings for them. Women tend to catch feelings faster than men because of oxytocin, but there's only been two guys that I've slept with who I had strong feelings for and both were boyfriends. It really just depends on the person.

Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want to without being judged?

Slut-shaming is a stupid double standard, but things are changing and I think women are becoming more relaxed about their sexuality. Plus realistically no one can do anything without being judged. Humans are judgemental creatures; there's probably some evolutionary-survival reason behind it.

Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn't sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you on the first date?

I dunno. Honestly depends whether the guy wants a girlfriend - in which case people tend to wait more to get to know each other to establish an emotional connection - or just a quick shag. Might help for the woman to also be straightforward about what she wants too - I get that not all girls will walk up to a guy and say 'want to come back to mine and shag?' but if you want a guy to see you on an emotional level, not just a physical one, then changing how you dress and act (i.e. just be yourself rather than 'overly flirtatious' or 'seductive' - just my view) will affect how he sees you.

In what world does no mean yes?

If you're talking about rape (and I assume you are) then I'll say that trying to rationalise with rapists is a waste of time. Most normal people don't agree with non-consensual sex (unless you're consensually role-playing non-consensual sex).

Why do you say that women are too emotional to be leaders
Then justify catcalling by saying men just can’t control themselves?

These two statements literally have no correlation with one another. Margaret Thatcher was the first UK PM and I'm pretty sure no one thought she was too emotional to be a leader. People disliked her because her policies were harsh and favoured the wealthy, and she got rid of the mining industry which crushed the economy in Northern England. No one thinks women are 'too emotional to be leaders' apart from actual misogynists that don't want women in power. Women can be in power just as well as men can.
As for the cat-calling statement - well yeah cat-calling is rude but I've never heard anyone justify it by saying 'guys can't control themselves.' The kind of guys that cat-call are immature idiots anyway who probably haven't gotten laid in a year.

Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me, I owe you my body?

You clearly know some really awful guys because never once has a guy 'expected' my body from him just cos he said 'hey, how are you?' You know, if you don't want to sleep with a guy or send him a nude you don't have to.

Why would you ever send an unsolicited dick pic?

I have no idea why guys do that. I only accept consensual dick picks. Sending an unsolicited one seems like a bit of a dick move. (Lame pun intended).

Why do you feel like it’s OK to harass women or make offensive comments about women but when somebody does it to your sister it’s not OK?

Guys aren't responsible for their sisters. I don't expect my brother to go around beating up every guy that's ever made 'offensive comments' towards me (ironically, I've received far more 'offensive comments' in my life from other females). That's not his responsibility; you're responsible for yourself.

How does it feel to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of making a point during a meeting?

What has this got to do with sexism? People interrupt each other for all kinds of reasons - they're rude, they're bursting to make a point, they have ADHD - why it is simply on the grounds that you're a woman?

Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open? I get that you have balls...

You just answered the question. If I have massive heavy bag in between my legs on a bus or train, guess what; I'm gonna need to sit with my legs wide open.

Why are women perceived as the weaker sex even though we literally birth you?

Because women are generally physically weaker than men. I wouldn't say women are 'emotionally' weaker than men; in animals the female mother is often very protective of her litter and fights off predators that seem like a threat to her children. Men and women both have strong, resilient qualities, but in different ways.

Why is it so bad to show your emotions?

It isn't. Men have been expected to hold them in over time; that's just how society has been. Also, biologically speaking women tend to be more emotional than men. (Just so it doesn't seem like I'm counteracting my above point; showing emotions doesn't make someone 'weak.') But people should be able to show as much emotion as they want. I'm a pretty emotional, sometimes over-the-top person; at the other end of the scale you have emotionless psychopaths.

Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me?

Does this ever actually happen? Maybe if a guy is being immature or making some silly joke. What is 'masculinity' anyway? Why can't people just be themselves and their feminine/masculine traits will come out alongside their personality, rather than 'dominating' their personalities?

Why the f*** isn’t it ladylike to cuss?

Shouldn't have bleeped out the cussing missy. But again it's because of social standards. Personally I think that's bullshit; cuss away, male or female. Just be careful of the context - going 'fuck I hurt myself!' is different to 'fuck you you pretentious bitch!'

Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who have been sexually violated or raped?

We live in an innocent until proven guilty justice system, and I don't think you should accept anything without proof or evidence. That said, if I hear a woman has been raped I don't 'automatically doubt it', it's just a case of weighing up what has happened and getting full accounts of it. Anyway in my day-to-day life I don't really think about rape statistics, I think about more superficial stuff like my future wedding to Tyrion Lannister.

Why do you assume a woman’s angry because she’s on her period?

Periods induce hormonal changes, and in some women these affect the mood. My mood hardly changes when I'm on my period; I have been known to cry or vomit more often but then I cry pretty easily anyway and can be susceptible to sickness when I'm not on my period.

Why do you think women that wear makeup are false advertising? We could say the same thing about your dick size.

I don't really know what you mean by this - presumably that a girl is wearing make-up and falsely advertising her beauty cos she'll take it off and look like shit. Well I don't think guys assume that unless they're dicks, I think guys assume girls wear make-up because they like the way it looks on them and think it improves how they look, but unless you're painting a whole new mask on it's unlikely you're going to look terribly ugly once it comes off. Regarding a guy' cock - you can't see it until he pulls his boxers off so how will you know to cry at how small it is until then?

Why isn’t it weird that there’s a bunch of old white men sitting in a room making legislation about what I can and can’t do with my body?

Because you voted them in. Men hold more political positions of power than women as we have up until recently lived in patriarchal society. Things are changing, however women's reasons for not being politically represented are not to do with 'sexism', they're to do with women's choices and men generally preferring to pursue positions of power than women. Maybe that's to do with social expectations, biology, or both, but either way things are not always as cut and dry as 'sexist/not sexist.'

Do you have a coochie?

I do, and it's brown and beautiful. Pretty sure no man on this planet does though. Unless he's a trans man becoming a woman, in which case at the end he'll be a woman anyway, so she will have a coochie.

Why are straight guys so obsessed with lesbians?

Cos they find them arousing. Some people find feet or being pissed on arousing.

How does it feel to get kicked in the balls?

I've been told it hurts like motherfucking cunt christ in hell.

Do you ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time?

When do guys ever 'try' to be manly all the time? What men have you been hanging around?

Why are you so afraid of gender equality?

Pretty sure most guys welcome gender equality - unless they actually are misogynist fucks.

Why do I deserve to be paid less than you? In what world does 78/68 cents equal a dollar?

Wage gap is a myth. And no, of course women don't deserve to be paid less than men for doing the same amount of work.

Why are you intimidated by a woman who makes more money than you?

A lot of these questions are to do with the way the system has been, and social/biological expectations of men and women. I think part of it is men being expected to be the primary breadwinners, coupled with wanting women to find them attractive and many women finding money as an attractive trait due to evolutionary wiring of wanting 'security' in a partner. I don't personally give a shit about how much money a guy makes, as long as he has some sort of goals for his life and isn't just bumming around, else we probably won't have a lot in common as I've always been highly ambitious.

Why are opinionated women seen as bitches?

Because intelligent people can be seen as intimidating to lesser intelligent people; because loud and brash people can be off-putting, because women have traditionally been expected to be demure and passive, because they may actually BE bitches. This doesn't just apply to women either. One of the many reasons people dislike Trump is because he's brash and outlandish. People like people that fit inside the boxes. I'm pretty opinionated and sway towards the 'brash' side of things, and no doubt that's off-putting to some.

Why aren’t you speaking up when you hear your male friends behind closed doors make jokes that are offensive to women?

Because it's not someone's business to police what kind of jokes their friends make. Also, women make rude jokes about guys all the time.

Why are you so afraid of recognizing your own privilege?

The most fucking patronising question of all. No comment.

I tried to answer these questions graciously in my dry manner as underlying them - no matter how dumb most of them are - are some fundamentals about male and female behaviour. Power struggles between the genders, and stuff involving social expectations about things like emotion, finances and sexuality. I may have taken them a bit too seriously - at surface value they're stupid, but if they were asked by an intelligent source, not BuzzShit, and phrased differently, there could be some actual discussion of gender going on. I reckon there are four general outlooks on feminism:

  • Feminism is and always has been a terrible regressive thing that hasn't helped anyone.
  • Feminism has done some good in the past but now it's gone too far and is no longer needed. (I fit in here).
  • Feminism is a good thing and is still needed, however radical feminists have given it a bad name and made it all about hating men and female supremacy.
  • Feminism has always been needed and we still have tons of work to do, and yes it should be a radical movement. 
Neither is wrong or right; they're all rooted in opinion and anyone can use facts of their own (whether manipulated or not) to back up either viewpoint. 

TJ's video is fun, check it out here:

Credits to TJ Kirk. 

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I'm Zarina Macha, an author, blogger, and musician from London. I write about stuff on the internet 'cos having opinions is fun -- if you want to join the games, please note your thoughts below. All thoughts welcome, even if they're mean (just no spam links please -- can't tell you what a liability those are to remove).
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