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Monday, 12 February 2018

No Answers

I haven't had the best last few weeks; won't go into it but it's mental-health related and I may write a post about it at a later point. I often think a lot of my frustration comes from not 'knowing' the answers. What is what, what is right, how to behave or what to do. I've posted a bit about my nihilistic attitude to life, in that I don't believe in 'absolutism' and believe most things are rooted in opinion, as most 'facts' are probably relative to the human experience.

I'm not 'god.' (Well of course not; I'm real). I don't know everything, and I never can know everything. If knowledge is infinite then it's impossible for any human to know everything, and if its finite it's probably beyond the human capacity anyway so we'll have to leave it up to the robots.

And why would anyone want to know anything anyway? I have a hard enough time getting through the day as it is. But maybe I thought that if I could figure things out, I would 'get' it. I would get life. Because I generally don't get life. My attitude to life is incredibly 'wobbly'; one minute I'm dancing around my bedroom listening to The Clash, the next I'm lying on my bed contemplating jumping off a building.

There's no consistency. Thankfully not everyone is like me; if everyone were like me the world would be even more chaotic and unpredictable than it is. Some people get along just fine; they don't bother about what's what, they simply get on with things. Their moods are relatively consistent, as opposed to having rapid or extreme ups and downs.

These are the people I struggle to relate to the most. We look at each other and we're total strangers, because they can't see my point of view and I can't see theirs. For them, life is what it is and feelings aren't going to kill you. For me, a whole day can feel horribly draining, in the sense that simply having to exist is too much and I'd much rather hide away in my room watching Mad Men and doing as little as possible.

The world right now in some cases is great; we're at the most peace we've ever been as a species, despite all of the wars and acts or terror going on. We're inter-globally connected through technology, and are able to travel all over the world and even to space. Humanity is far more self-aware about certain things than it ever has been. But in a lot of ways we're going down. Our planet is running out of natural resources, humans are now using robots as sexual companions, and the ever-present threat of climate change and rising sea levels keeps creeping up on us.

Funny, isn't it; the President of the most powerful country on this planet thinks climate change is a joke. That's another thing. See, this new movie 'Black Panther' has come out, and I watched the trailer and it looks like quite a good action film, with strong character development and the interesting theme of having ties to African culture. However, snowflake liberals are going to make this all about 'race' and say that anyone who criticizes the movie in any way is a 'racist.'

This makes me look at the world and think...well to be honest, I don't know what to think. If someone dislikes Obama it makes them a racist. If someone dislikes Wonder Woman they're a misogynist. Probably the reason Black Panther had a 100% review on Rotten Tomatoes (now down to a wopping 99%), is because critics are scared that if they say anything negative about the movie they'll be labelled as racist.

I feel like the Western world in a socio-political sense is really going downhill, what with all these 'Men Rights' activist groups and Feminist groups and trans-this and LGBTYNJUTEAGJ and etc etc. (Of course I support LBGT rights, I'm talking about the extremist sense). But of course it's not only that. The internet has made it so depressed kids like me can sit at a computer and share their voices with the world. Everyone has a voice, and most people think theirs is the right one. And within those groups people think their voice is right. How many factions are there within the feminist movement? I follow the Facebook group 'Atheist Republic' and have been part of some atheist meetup groups; there are going to be those that think religion should be wiped from the world and there's 100% no god, and then those that sure, don't believe in a god but don't actually care that much.

Maybe I'm just an apathetic person. I look around the world and there's so much contradiction everywhere. It takes me back to when I was a kid, when I would ask mummy one question and ask daddy the same question and get totally contradictory answers and then feel confused. Life pretty much stays that way. And a strong part of me often doesn't want much to do with any of it. I'd rather lay back, watch my films and shows, read my books, write songs and preen at how pretty my hair is.

When the other person won't back down, I'd rather just walk away or disappear than have to deal with them any further, because what really is the point? Why put myself through all that frustration? The massive irony is, of course, that as a blogger I'm constantly having my viewpoints challenged, especially on 'serious' topics. A lot of the time I step back and I wonder; what is the point? If you strip away the content, how long does it take to become a battle of egos rather than a conversation?


  1. Not quite the same thing, but this is a nice song.

    1. Ah, The Police. I think I've heard this song before and it is nice, very 80s haha.


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