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Saturday, 21 April 2018

Horror of Humanity

Wrote this last year. Prosaic stream of consciousness...

A woman screams at her kids day in day out for the slightest of things; when they’re in their 30s they’ll be having therapy. A guy treats his girlfriend as if she’s barely there, all the while his eyes glistening with the ghosts of his past. Meanwhile, he sees his meth-head mother once a year. Your lady friend sleeps with man for cocaine trying to black out the memories of her ex raping her. Her father doesn’t give a fuck about the girls he had coming in and out of his life, betraying his wife. They scream and they yell and they say go to hell and he leaves; gets another wife. But she’s never satisfied. Comes home and wreaks havoc because the world isn’t pandering to her needs. Her kids sit on edge, wondering why their mother can’t be pleased. Is it a woman’s nature to be unsatisfied? While the men sit and sigh and realise they can’t do anything.

Men blow up the Twin Towers. Men shoot each other. Men kill and destroy and they blow up the world. Men fight and maim, make the world go up in flames as war after war strikes again. And all for what? Money and ego?
A man goes to work every day, his business booming, all the while ignoring his daughter whilst she purges day in day out and starves herself. She stares in the mirror. Are my legs too fat, she thinks? Are my thighs too fat? Fat, fat, fat; girls everywhere look in the mirror striving for perfection and see shit. A pile of crap that no man will ever love. My father doesn’t even love me, she thinks; will another man ever give me that love?

Hallucinations, psychosis, voices run around her head. She puts knives to her arms to get rid of the pain. Cut, cut, cut. Cut the fat and let it wash out. Cutting into your beautiful skin. How a woman suffers for her beauty. Cutting her face, cutting her arms, cutting her hair. Even men are suffering now; women only want Taylor Lautner and Calvin Klein models. Girls cheer as Taylor ran onto the screen whilst boys grimaced, knowing they would never be good enough if they didn’t have a V line.

Some get by by closing their eyes and ignoring the pain. Shut your eyes and get on with your life. Why bring pain on to yourself by wearing the pain of others? But some observe the worldly pain, and that is the deepest cut of all. The pain that is inescapable. This pain is not across the world in Chinese factories where little kids are forced to work for nothing. This pain is sitting next to you in school, filing its nails or staring into space or texting friends or fidgeting. This pain is everywhere. This is the horror of humanity. 

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I'm Zarina Macha, an author, blogger, and musician from London. I write about stuff on the internet 'cos having opinions is fun -- if you want to join the games, please note your thoughts below. All thoughts welcome, even if they're mean (just no spam links please -- can't tell you what a liability those are to remove).
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