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Sunday, 20 May 2018

The Royal Wedding is Lame


Ooh, look, some attractive woman is marrying a rich guy, who gives a shit...

Ok, it's not the actual wedding that annoys me. It doesn't even annoy me that much; no one my age who I'm close with has said anything about it. Weddings are a beautiful thing; they symbolise two people making the biggest mistake of their life throwing their freedom away  wasting their time coming together in long-lasting love and matrimony. (Whew, got there in the end).
Yay, now go get laid and make some sexy kids. 
No, it's just the fact that EVERY SINGLE BRITISH NEWSPAPER HAS A FUCKING HEADLINE ABOUT PRINCE HARRY AND MEGAN DRAPER SPARKLE. (I've nearly finished Mad Men and I do really like Megan). Yeah, I know her name is Megan Markle, not Sparkle, this is just one of my sad attempts at humour. Plus I think 'Megan Sparkle' is a cooler name than 'Megan Markle' (toootally not trying to take advantage of google search keywords...royal wedding royal wedding royal wedding royal wedding 2018 BITTTCHH!!!)
Zou bisou bisou, Megan baby. 
All jokes aside, I don't see why I have to be bombarded with shit I don't care about. Again, this post is pretty pointless because none of my friends give a shit about the royal wedding or have said anything about it. My AA sponsor crooned about it months ago but she's ancient so that's ok. (She's not that old). But besides middle aged white women, who actually gives a crap about this wedding?

I would hate to be married to a prince. Can you imagine constantly being ogled at by the media? It's not the same as being a famous actor or athlete or musician because that's actually something worthwhile you did. But being well known for being married to someone? That would piss me off. I'm trying to get on with my life and be with my husband, yet everywhere I go the press are snap snap snapping at me. Poor Kate. She gets so much hate, especially as of late. You relate?
HELLLOOOOO!!!!!!!
The irony is, when I was younger and William and Kate got married I was all into the hype. Back then I had a different blog (which now no longer exists, although its probably roaming around somewhere in Google's Secret Deleted Sites Store). I was blogging about the wedding, super into it aged 13. (You know I had to really think hard just now to figure out how old I was in April 2011).

I don't hate the royal family. They seem like decent people, and they bring a lot of money into the economy via tourism. But they're nothing to do with me. Two people getting married is not some major newsworthy event. Feudalism historically has so much negativity attached to it anyway that I don't know why we'd even celebrate it.

Sure, I hope they're happy. Ms Markle is beautiful, as is Ms Middleton. And I know there was some big deal because she's mixed raced and has a black mum - but again, who gives a shit? It's like all that hype about Obama being elected because he was black. Shouldn't we be past all that by now? I wish we were all green. (Yeah this became super antagonistic).

Do you care about the royal wedding? I only care enough to get blog traffic and make myself laugh for the 15-20 mins I spent writing this post. In general, marriage and relationships are a beautiful thing, but I don't see people's personal lives as anyone else's business. Too much external involvement can fuck up relationships, or so I've heard. (Cheers, Kim Kardashian).

66% of Brits don't care about the royal wedding: http://bigthink.com/stephen-johnson/poll-shows-66-of-brits-could-care-less-about-royal-wedding

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